I’ve always been very interested in all religions but never felt I could commit. I really feel I know too little about the Christian religion and the Bible to say ‘Yes, this if for, me!’ or ‘No thank you’. I attended Bible study on Saturday’s in the summers when I was growing up. Neither of my parents are religious, but my Mother sent us to Bible study so we would have some knowledge of the most famous book in the world. I didn’t really know that we weren’t religious until I was twelve. My Mom always told me we were Protestants, that seemed reasonable to me. I went to church with one my friends on occasion. I definitely believed in God and believed Jesus was God’s son. I knew and loved a lot of the stories in the Bible. At twelve, I remember asking my Mother some question about the Bible and my Mother’s response was, ‘Oh Angie, I don’t know. I read the Bible once. It’s a nice fiction novel’. Well, that statement opened a whole new realm for me. Was the Bible fiction? My Mother was really a good Mother. Smart, loving, caring, hard working, fun, a good wife and just had a lot of common sense. So, for a long time I believed her. Interestingly, my Sister Amanda, who is six years older than me, started to go to church every Sunday with one of her friends when she was in high school in the late 70s. My parents seemed to be okay with that. I thought it was so unfair that the rest of us had to stay home and do yard work while Amanda went to church on Sundays. My parents said, ‘Do you want to go to church?’ and I said ‘Noooo’ and they said ‘Then get to work’. My Sister has continued to go to church and really thrives in life because of spirituality. She is very easy to talk to about religion and as adults we’ve had really great conversations about God and Christianity. She never judged me for not being religious, but she freely shared with me why her faith was so strong. Amanda has had many spiritual epiphanies. She feels God has spoken to her and I believe her. Here faith opened up the door for me to have ‘faith’, unfortunately my other Sister Amy’s faith slammed the door shut. My Sister Amy found God about 10 years ago. She started attending a Methodist Church, like my Sister Amanda. Amy definitely needed something in her life, so I thought it was a good thing for her. When I tried to have conversations with her, she wasn’t so open. When I suggested that possibly Mary Magdalene was Jesus’ wife and spiritual partner she said ‘absolutely not’. When I suggested that the passages chosen to be in the Bible were based on the politics of the time, she wouldn’t have anything to do with it. Her opinion seems to be that there is only one way to interpret the Bible and only one way to believe and if I did not believe in that same way my soul was at risk. Well, I became strongly interested in Buddhism after that.

After a while my interest in Christianity could not be kept at bay. I kept thinking how can a book that has been around for so long, read and worshiped by so many people, not contain some truth? On the other hand how could a book written thousands of years ago and interpreted and translated many time over, be taken so literally? Why is it that Christian’s say the Bible is the ‘one true book’? How could there be only one true book written in thousands of years? Especially, when that one true book has so much in common with a lot of other writings and oral stories that came before it? And why can’t I interpret the writing in my own way? Can’t God speak to me and tell me ‘My truths’ through his word?

I also have a lot of questions about one of the most beloved men of all time, Jesus. Jesus lived two thousand years ago, how is it that that his teaching still speak so strongly to people today? He must have been someone incredibly special. He was an amazing teach, his words are beautiful. He was like a rock star, loved by the young prophets looking for something different, looking for meaning in there lives, so hated by the grown ups that couldn’t imagine breaking from tradition. My friend Barb says ‘Jesus was aBuddhist’. From all that I read, it seems obvious to me he was a pacifist. Yet how is it that so many wars have been waged in Jesus’ name? It seems so ironic to me. I think Jesus just shakes his head in disbelief.

I know my Sister would be so comforted if I could just find Jesus. How do I tell her I think I may have found Jesus, just not the same Jesus she found.